How to Care For Your Introvert 101: A Quick Self-Help Guide
By Rachael and Martin McIntosh
Have you ever thought, “Why is he so quiet?” Ever wanted to poke him with a stick? Has your introvert ever said to you, “I just want to go home.” Do you catch yourself thinking “How can he kick it in bed all day, not talk to anyone, and still be good as fuck?” This self-help guide “How to Care for Your Introvert 101″ was written out of annoyance, exasperation and desire. A desire for you to understand that it’s not you, it’s us. Scratch that. It’s MOSTLY you. We hope that it inspires you!
1. DON’T call your introvert antisocial. Chances are, your introvert will like people. Your introvert will also enjoy being social. However, it is important to note that your introvert requires these in small, manageable doses. If you call your introvert antisocial, your introvert will get antisocial. Respect the fact that your introvert may choose a night of watching anime or binge-listening to Kanye West albums, over a night out with you. Time alone is what he needs. You may not be what he wants, and that’s okay.
2. Don’t expect your introvert to be a social butterfly where he doesn’t feel comfortable. Your introvert is really quite a normal person: smart, funny, interesting, and probably a seasoned thrower of shade! Your introvert just won’t show it explicitly. You’ll get all of this, and a lot more out of your introvert, if you respect him and engage him in a trusted space. Else, you’ll feel your introvert’s presence start to wane, or witness a bitch-evolution as he withdraws: mentally, and sometimes physically.
3. Don’t put your introvert on the spot. Teachers, this one especially is for you! Give your introvert time to process his thoughts, so that whatever he says, makes sense to him. There’s no worse feeling than being embarrassed in public to your introvert. Either you or your introvert is going to end up crying (depending on what one of you says), or you’ll be fed up with your introvert not giving you your intended response. So, SWERVE with putting him on the spot!
4. Your introvert has to recharge. Prolonged social interaction will quickly sap your introvert’s energy. Don’t take it personally when the first thing your introvert does upon reaching home is say “hey wassup hello”, and heads straight for his room once he comes in through the door. He just wants to chill (alone), relax, and decompress before he bites off anyone’s head.
5. Don’t surprise your introvert. Your introvert needs at least fifteen minutes to finish whatever he’s doing. In the same way, give him ample notice of larger changes, like spending the weekend, or even the day at his house. Your introvert will be four, five seconds from kicking your ass, and you’ll have to hold him back from spazzing if you show up uninvited. He wishes somebody would tell him. That’s all he wants.
6. Encourage your introvert to find a friend with similar interests and abilities. There’s nothing quite like two introverts uniting. Separately. In their own homes. Behind their own screens. (face to face interaction works, too!) Your introvert will be all the more happier to be friends with someone who’s quite like him. After all, this guide wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t met each other!
7. Don’t try so hard to read your introvert. Your introvert is not cold, tired, sad, hungry, angry, or on the verge of a mental breakdown. He could be, but 90% of the time, he’s not. That’s just his face! Your introvert directs everything inwardly, so he’ll present a calm, collected exterior. If you ask repeatedly if he’s okay, then he’ll get angry!
8. Don’t try to turn your introvert into an extrovert. That’s exactly what your introvert is. An introvert. He hates small talk, but will talk for hours about anything that interests him. Alone time is important. He’ll tend to withdraw in big group settings, but won’t shut up around a couple people he knows well. Trying to erase all of that is a surefire way of erasing your introvert out of your life. Accept and understand your introvert, and you’ll have the best relationship ever!
About the Authors
Coming in at a whopping 5 feet 5 inches, Martin McIntosh is a SAVAGE, a Nicki Minaj lover, a chocolate hater, and an anime enthusiast with one of the best minds anyone could ever come across. Makes a pretty great friend, too, when he’s not throwing shade like it’s sunny.
Rachael McIntosh’s height game is strong, and her forehead game is even stronger. She’s been stunting on you hoes since 1996. If you’re looking for her chill, look for it in the same place as your relevance.